Last week was a hard week for me. Both my kids were sick. A simple sentence which doesn't convey the loss of sleep, the hours of comforting, the struggles to not worry, the cabin fever, the repeated wiping of snotty noses and laying awake in bed listening to rasping coughs.
I really struggled with wanting to wish it all away; wanting to return to my "comfortable" life. Obviously, for my children's sakes, I wanted them to be better, but much more selfishly, for MY sake, I wanted them to be better, too. God kept bringing to mind again and again that He is doing a work of sanctification in my life and it is these times of difficulty - much more than the times of ease - which take me beyond my limits and teach me to rely on Him. I shouldn't be so quick to wish them away.
Many times in the past week I have been reminded that life - TRUE LIFE - is dying to myself.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
This verse always gives me mental images of stories from communist China or Russia where believers literally lost their lives for the gospel and for their fellow Christian. It sounds so noble and exceptional. And yet, this is not a call to that one, special occasion, but rather a calling for our daily lives.... dying to our wants, even our needs, for those around us. What better training ground do I have than motherhood?
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1.
What an amazing perspective when I can see that my acts of nursing and comforting my children are acts of worship to an Almighty God. As I go through this often painful process of learning to give up ME, I gain HIM.
photo from www.allposters.co.uk
9:12 PM |
Category:
Matters of the Heart
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